Trade (re-write)

A complete rewrite of a previously shite-ridden draft of a poem, for your delectation:

Trade

Between the light and dark, a veil: you take
my hand and palm aside the barrier
to walk inside the room. There's ghosts in here -
they wail in whispers, grunts; the shunts and smacks
of fruitless, faceless love; anonymous
entanglements of slugging tongues. I slip
my fingers round your cotton waist, then down
within your jeans to cup your muscled arse
and pull our groins together. Can't you see
the devil sat within my eyes? I can suck
the wisdom teeth from jaws, the snot from lungs;
I can gnaw through sweat-built chests to lick the hearts
of warriors, my fifteen minute friend:
this lustful demon's trade beyond the veil.