Things wot Rik's done since NaPo stole his brain ...

#1: Redesigned two fish tanks. Though in fact Rik only planned to redesign the smaller one - turn it into a proper planted tank (£70 spent on plants: that's how badly NaPo has affected Rik's brain). Except that after the soil and stuff went in, and the tank was half filled with water to mature it, and the plants arrived, and Rik unpacked them, and arranged them, and planted them around some nice pieces of bogwood, and the tank brim-filled with water and everything - it leaked. Overnight. Turning his old but serviceable grey carpet brown and smelly. So now the plants are planted in little tupperware bowls in the big tank, and the little tank is in the process of being turned into a vivarium. For frogs. Believe Rik when he says that this makes more sense than mucking around with sealant or buying a new small tank. Rik may be considering putting some crabs in it - he hasn't decided yet. He says he'll post some photos tomorrow to show progress.

#2: On the subject of leaks, the washing machine broke last week. Broke badly. With lots of water washing through the flat. Rik is now the proud owner of a new washing machine. Which when it was delivered, the people refused to plumb in, on account of the hot water pipe having a thingy that just span round, and the cold water pipe missing its thingy altogether. Which meant plumbers. And then long and tedious arguments with the shop to get them to send people round again to collect the old machine and plumb in the new machine. Which - with the help of one of Rik's few remaining claim your free miracle today cards - happened! The new machine is white and clean and it goes round and round and there are no more leaks (yet) and Rik is happy!

#3: Shelves have been built and executive work desks constructed using instructions that were (apparently) written in well formed Egyptian hieroglyphs - or possibly some form of cuneform; the photocopying was a little smudgy - and the back bedroom is now redecorated. On hearing the news, the Mother of Rik announced an intention to visit, arriving on Monday and staying for the week.

#4: Rik's driving lessons continue apace. After failing his first mock exam, he is now preparing for a second attempt. Rik was gladdened to hear that his instructor's cateracts have not worsened over the past couple of weeks, and the operation is scheduled for the end of June. The standard traffic warning to avoid driving in North East London on Wednesdays between the hours of 1 and 3 shall remain in force for the forseeable future.

#5: Rik has been catching up on all the Open University work he missed thanks to the joys of NaPo. To make things interesting, Rik has been tackling this work with a set of cold symptoms which, while not seriously incapacitating, have required an increased volume of screenwipes: removal of sneeze snot from laptops, walls and various small animals, for the use of.

#6: NaPo delerium has convinced Rik to start tackling some longer term projects, to whit the recording of videos of Rik reading his poems (for use on the website), and the revision of his first novel. Rik is looking forward to a bright, sunny and productive summer!

Live long and prosper, as the pointy eared folks say!