Monday, February 09, 2009

Second Sin (rewrite)

This one was working right up to the last line. Course, soon as I started tampering with it, other things changed too.

But I think I've nailed it this time ...

Second Sin

He brings a harsh heat into the room;
stones among sand: "You see me?"

I nod, reach for the warm whisky
as he hunches down on the chair
with the snapped back, almond mouth
bitter within its shallow beard.

He says: "I need a vengeance. My grave
has room for another, a brother
to lie in his furrow by my bones.
I can pay you in camels, or goats."

The sun in my dull mirror, it hangs
off the broken window, bloods clouds,
marks a fall. From the street, a shout;
a coil of flamed headline; the bark
of a car. "Am I your brother's seeker?"

"These are good camels," he smiles,
"keen in the snout for water."

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