Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
VLaW: Ten questions on Poets and technology
Over at Very Like a Whale Young Nic is being provocative again, posing ten questions to various Poets (with a capital P) about how they think technology is affecting Poetry (again with the P). Naturally I don't need a formal invite to answer the questions (I have no shame). The link to the standing page for these questions is here.
Enjoy!
1. Characterize your general attitude as a poet towards technology.
Personally, I blame the Sumerians for the death of poetry. If only they hadn't invented writing, poetry would still be the pure, instant, sacred, utterable conscience of the tribe/society that it was always meant to be - the tempered doors to the collective cupboard of love and life that is poetry's original purpose. But some Sumerian decided to go and invent the cuneform script and no doubt a couple of decades later a scribe, bored of logging tallies of cattle and corn, thought it would be a wheeze to try and mark down their favourite poem (an epic fantasy about a superhero called Gilgamesh) in clay during their lunch break and, as they say, the rest is history.
Now I like writing. My capacity for memorizing lines of poetry is shamefully shallow, so having a text to refer to is a massive boon. Without writing, I would not be a poet. Of course it's not enough to be able to write the poems: you also need to be able to read them, a skill for which we have to thank the education reformers of the previous couple of centuries. Without mass reading skills my poems would be unread, and if nobody reads (or hears) my poems then I cannot be a poet.
And if a poet wants their work to be read, they need to get copies of their work in front of as many eyes as possible. For the gift of printing I have to thank Herr Gutenberg - I'll thank the Chinese for inventing paper, but I think our most important thanks should go to the Buddhists who taught their followers that the production and keeping of sacred texts was a holy duty of the highest order, thus developing the Cult of the Book.
So, all-in-all, I adore technology and technological developments, both as a poet and as a person. The latest developments - computers, networks, the digital ascendancy over analogue counterparts are, for me, as exciting as the development of writing must have been for that Sumerian clerk. The computer and the internet and the eBook and cheap publishing options and endless storage - it all gives everybody the opportunity of becoming a poet ... if only in the eyes of their friends and family.
And because of the fragile, ephemeral nature of electronically stored poems I believe we're on the edge of moving beyond the bound syllables of history. Rather than living in a time where poems are handed down from remote authorities to be learned and honoured and worshipped unchanged between the generations, I believe we're moving towards a time when poetry can return to its original, pre-cuneform roots: lines to be transmitted between friends and followers, adapted and expanded and curtailed to meet the needs of each retelling; a poetry of the moment, of the group, of the essence of self within the universe.
And this is a Good Thing.
2. Do you use Facebook in your capacity as a poet? If so, how, and what are its upsides and downsides? If not, why not?
Having spent the last month trying to develop a Facebook app (for promoting my recently self-published novel), I have acquired an intense dislike for the Facebook platform. As an arena for promoting a poet's platform, the venue can serve a useful purpose: if people do not know that you - and your poems - exist, how can they possibly read them? But as a platform for developing and presenting poems, it is useless; the typefaces too limiting, the presentational controls and formats too constricting. Maybe these challenges will prove irrisistable to some poets - especially those who believe that any transformative pressure can turn a text into a poem, but it's not for me.
Mainly I use Facebook to moan about stuff, and to keep up to date with what other people are up to. Recently the Facebook crew have come up with the idea of the 'social web' (where websites can tap into the Facebook databases to retrieve personal information about casual visitors). It's an idea that's probably got some legs to it, but not in its current state of coding innovations. I'm waiting for someone else to come along with ideas to out-Facebook the Facebook crew; until then I'll keep my poetry to my own website.
3. Do you use Twitter in your capacity as a poet? If so, how, and what are its upsides and downsides? If not, why not?
I loathe Twitter with a vengeance. There is no poetry in that website's soul.
4. What other technologies – including blogs, websites and podcasts – do you employ in your capacity as a poet? Explain how, and the upsides and downsides of each. If none, explain why.
Fifteen years ago I abandoned poetry. Why? Because I had grown to hate the infrastructure that surrounded the production and distribution of poetry: the distant, seemingly monolithic major poetry publishers; the apparent coterie of gatekeepers - publishers, reviewers, prize-givers and the like - intent on minimizing the numbers of poets able to reach a wider audience; the knee-jerk and often contemptuous dismissal of micro-publishers by those who had made it through the gates to the poetic Promised Land. Faced with such barriers, a group of us poets had banded together to publish a new poetry magazine and after two years of unbelieveably hard work and six issues we were staring failure in the face. So I walked away from poetry and got on with my life. (The magazine, btw, somehow managed to survive and is now going stronger than ever - part of the establishment, even, though none of the credit for that achievement accrues to me).
Ten years ago I invested in a modem and discovered the virtual world. Mainly I discovered Usenet - the closest approximation to anarchy that the human mind has ever managed to construct. It was wonderful, liberating! Poetry newsgroups like rec.arts.poems brought the thoughts of people from across the globe (Canada and America, Jamaica and Australia, Holland and Kenya) to my screen, and with those thoughts came poems: different poems, exciting poems, exotic poems.
I became an internet poet.
From Usenet I moved onto the worldwideweb - poetry forums, poetry blogs, poetry websites. I joined forums and discovered the joys of online workshopping; I set up a blog and discovered the profound wonders of online pontification. I wrote poems, and revised poems, and commented on poems. I discussed poetry with people I'd never met in real life. But mostly what I did was get myself a website. Here was a place where I could write and display my work for the whole world to see, in the way that I wanted the world to see it. No gatekeepers, no establishment hierarchies, no financial barriers to obtaining my work beyond the need for a visitor to connect to the web and click to my page.
That website has now evolved into my concept of a 'living book' - an ever changing, ever updating volume of my collected work available for the enjoyment of anyone who stumbles across it. It includes eBooks that mimic real books on the webpage alongside more traditional web renderings. It has audio and video clips of me reciting poems. Some of the poems change each time the visitor clicks on the refresh button while others have hidden notes within the text for the visitor's pointer to discover. It is a whole, complete beast and yet it is also an incomplete, unformed fetus waiting to be born again. It is dynamic across the years and decades, and static in its moment. It is my life's work; thus it is me.
The best part of my website, for me, is that it is entirely my own work. Every line of code in the website has been typed into Notepad before being uploaded to the server. It is a pure construction of text, html markup, php and javascript coding, sql statements and css annotations. It is the digital equivalent of making your own paper and ink and then designing, printing, binding and distributing your own book. The electrical essence of the workshop in the penniless poet's garret, with added beret, so to speak.
My original intention was that my living book would live as long as I lived and that, after my death, it would decay as I decayed until no sign of it would remain on the 'nets. Last month, however, the British Library very kindly agreed to start archiving copies of the site at regular intervals, capturing iterations of the site as it develops and evolves. So maybe it will last a little longer than my flesh - a small, non-commital nod to posterity among the countless millions of other web pages that will be preserved in the library's electronic archives.
5. What do you dislike most about how other poets use technology?
At this point in time the vast bulk of poets use modern technology purely to pursue their dream of becoming a 'published poet', using twenty-first century tools to hunt down a nineteenth century ideal. To me it seems like using a nuclear power station to light a log fire, but if it makes them happy who am I to complain?
6. What do you like most about how other poets use technology?
I love the way poets use the Internet to build their own communities and support groups, a Balkanisation of the global village even as the village foundations are being laid down. The social aspects of modern technology are having (or at least starting to have) a vast influence on the poetries being written today, and I think we all - as poets and readers - benefit from that.
7. Technology is enabling poets today to take poetry off the page in ways that were previously inconceivable. Either comment on this piece by Tom Knoyves or provide a link to and comments on a different piece of work that uses technology to take the poem off the page.
I think the piece is interesting and fun but, to be honest, I'm not sure that it is taking poetry in a new direction. Collage is not new; disruptive texts are not that new; capturing signage and graffitti on film with moody saxaphone in the audio track - I feel like I've seen it before. The bomb references and run down urban environment take me back to the 1980s rather than forward towards a new interpretation of the world, or even that small part of the world captured on video.
8. Do you use technology as an integral element of your poetry? If so, how? If not, why not?
I refer you to my witterings about 'living books' in Q4 above.
9. What has technology done for or to Poetry?
Not much yet. An analogy: I think we're about to move beyond Caxton's printing press and the Canterbury Tales into the age of the pampheleteer; but who in that age could foretell the invention of the novel as the main literary development in the following centuries? Who could imagine neon-lit signage in those days?
10. What should Poetry do with or about technology that it has not yet done?
Poets need to have more fun with the technology. They need to learn not to fear experimentation and failure. They need to open their minds to the possibilities of this new magic, and revel in it!
As they say: what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger.
Enjoy!
1. Characterize your general attitude as a poet towards technology.
Personally, I blame the Sumerians for the death of poetry. If only they hadn't invented writing, poetry would still be the pure, instant, sacred, utterable conscience of the tribe/society that it was always meant to be - the tempered doors to the collective cupboard of love and life that is poetry's original purpose. But some Sumerian decided to go and invent the cuneform script and no doubt a couple of decades later a scribe, bored of logging tallies of cattle and corn, thought it would be a wheeze to try and mark down their favourite poem (an epic fantasy about a superhero called Gilgamesh) in clay during their lunch break and, as they say, the rest is history.
Now I like writing. My capacity for memorizing lines of poetry is shamefully shallow, so having a text to refer to is a massive boon. Without writing, I would not be a poet. Of course it's not enough to be able to write the poems: you also need to be able to read them, a skill for which we have to thank the education reformers of the previous couple of centuries. Without mass reading skills my poems would be unread, and if nobody reads (or hears) my poems then I cannot be a poet.
And if a poet wants their work to be read, they need to get copies of their work in front of as many eyes as possible. For the gift of printing I have to thank Herr Gutenberg - I'll thank the Chinese for inventing paper, but I think our most important thanks should go to the Buddhists who taught their followers that the production and keeping of sacred texts was a holy duty of the highest order, thus developing the Cult of the Book.
So, all-in-all, I adore technology and technological developments, both as a poet and as a person. The latest developments - computers, networks, the digital ascendancy over analogue counterparts are, for me, as exciting as the development of writing must have been for that Sumerian clerk. The computer and the internet and the eBook and cheap publishing options and endless storage - it all gives everybody the opportunity of becoming a poet ... if only in the eyes of their friends and family.
And because of the fragile, ephemeral nature of electronically stored poems I believe we're on the edge of moving beyond the bound syllables of history. Rather than living in a time where poems are handed down from remote authorities to be learned and honoured and worshipped unchanged between the generations, I believe we're moving towards a time when poetry can return to its original, pre-cuneform roots: lines to be transmitted between friends and followers, adapted and expanded and curtailed to meet the needs of each retelling; a poetry of the moment, of the group, of the essence of self within the universe.
And this is a Good Thing.
2. Do you use Facebook in your capacity as a poet? If so, how, and what are its upsides and downsides? If not, why not?
Having spent the last month trying to develop a Facebook app (for promoting my recently self-published novel), I have acquired an intense dislike for the Facebook platform. As an arena for promoting a poet's platform, the venue can serve a useful purpose: if people do not know that you - and your poems - exist, how can they possibly read them? But as a platform for developing and presenting poems, it is useless; the typefaces too limiting, the presentational controls and formats too constricting. Maybe these challenges will prove irrisistable to some poets - especially those who believe that any transformative pressure can turn a text into a poem, but it's not for me.
Mainly I use Facebook to moan about stuff, and to keep up to date with what other people are up to. Recently the Facebook crew have come up with the idea of the 'social web' (where websites can tap into the Facebook databases to retrieve personal information about casual visitors). It's an idea that's probably got some legs to it, but not in its current state of coding innovations. I'm waiting for someone else to come along with ideas to out-Facebook the Facebook crew; until then I'll keep my poetry to my own website.
3. Do you use Twitter in your capacity as a poet? If so, how, and what are its upsides and downsides? If not, why not?
I loathe Twitter with a vengeance. There is no poetry in that website's soul.
4. What other technologies – including blogs, websites and podcasts – do you employ in your capacity as a poet? Explain how, and the upsides and downsides of each. If none, explain why.
Fifteen years ago I abandoned poetry. Why? Because I had grown to hate the infrastructure that surrounded the production and distribution of poetry: the distant, seemingly monolithic major poetry publishers; the apparent coterie of gatekeepers - publishers, reviewers, prize-givers and the like - intent on minimizing the numbers of poets able to reach a wider audience; the knee-jerk and often contemptuous dismissal of micro-publishers by those who had made it through the gates to the poetic Promised Land. Faced with such barriers, a group of us poets had banded together to publish a new poetry magazine and after two years of unbelieveably hard work and six issues we were staring failure in the face. So I walked away from poetry and got on with my life. (The magazine, btw, somehow managed to survive and is now going stronger than ever - part of the establishment, even, though none of the credit for that achievement accrues to me).
Ten years ago I invested in a modem and discovered the virtual world. Mainly I discovered Usenet - the closest approximation to anarchy that the human mind has ever managed to construct. It was wonderful, liberating! Poetry newsgroups like rec.arts.poems brought the thoughts of people from across the globe (Canada and America, Jamaica and Australia, Holland and Kenya) to my screen, and with those thoughts came poems: different poems, exciting poems, exotic poems.
I became an internet poet.
From Usenet I moved onto the worldwideweb - poetry forums, poetry blogs, poetry websites. I joined forums and discovered the joys of online workshopping; I set up a blog and discovered the profound wonders of online pontification. I wrote poems, and revised poems, and commented on poems. I discussed poetry with people I'd never met in real life. But mostly what I did was get myself a website. Here was a place where I could write and display my work for the whole world to see, in the way that I wanted the world to see it. No gatekeepers, no establishment hierarchies, no financial barriers to obtaining my work beyond the need for a visitor to connect to the web and click to my page.
That website has now evolved into my concept of a 'living book' - an ever changing, ever updating volume of my collected work available for the enjoyment of anyone who stumbles across it. It includes eBooks that mimic real books on the webpage alongside more traditional web renderings. It has audio and video clips of me reciting poems. Some of the poems change each time the visitor clicks on the refresh button while others have hidden notes within the text for the visitor's pointer to discover. It is a whole, complete beast and yet it is also an incomplete, unformed fetus waiting to be born again. It is dynamic across the years and decades, and static in its moment. It is my life's work; thus it is me.
The best part of my website, for me, is that it is entirely my own work. Every line of code in the website has been typed into Notepad before being uploaded to the server. It is a pure construction of text, html markup, php and javascript coding, sql statements and css annotations. It is the digital equivalent of making your own paper and ink and then designing, printing, binding and distributing your own book. The electrical essence of the workshop in the penniless poet's garret, with added beret, so to speak.
My original intention was that my living book would live as long as I lived and that, after my death, it would decay as I decayed until no sign of it would remain on the 'nets. Last month, however, the British Library very kindly agreed to start archiving copies of the site at regular intervals, capturing iterations of the site as it develops and evolves. So maybe it will last a little longer than my flesh - a small, non-commital nod to posterity among the countless millions of other web pages that will be preserved in the library's electronic archives.
5. What do you dislike most about how other poets use technology?
At this point in time the vast bulk of poets use modern technology purely to pursue their dream of becoming a 'published poet', using twenty-first century tools to hunt down a nineteenth century ideal. To me it seems like using a nuclear power station to light a log fire, but if it makes them happy who am I to complain?
6. What do you like most about how other poets use technology?
I love the way poets use the Internet to build their own communities and support groups, a Balkanisation of the global village even as the village foundations are being laid down. The social aspects of modern technology are having (or at least starting to have) a vast influence on the poetries being written today, and I think we all - as poets and readers - benefit from that.
7. Technology is enabling poets today to take poetry off the page in ways that were previously inconceivable. Either comment on this piece by Tom Knoyves or provide a link to and comments on a different piece of work that uses technology to take the poem off the page.
I think the piece is interesting and fun but, to be honest, I'm not sure that it is taking poetry in a new direction. Collage is not new; disruptive texts are not that new; capturing signage and graffitti on film with moody saxaphone in the audio track - I feel like I've seen it before. The bomb references and run down urban environment take me back to the 1980s rather than forward towards a new interpretation of the world, or even that small part of the world captured on video.
8. Do you use technology as an integral element of your poetry? If so, how? If not, why not?
I refer you to my witterings about 'living books' in Q4 above.
9. What has technology done for or to Poetry?
Not much yet. An analogy: I think we're about to move beyond Caxton's printing press and the Canterbury Tales into the age of the pampheleteer; but who in that age could foretell the invention of the novel as the main literary development in the following centuries? Who could imagine neon-lit signage in those days?
10. What should Poetry do with or about technology that it has not yet done?
Poets need to have more fun with the technology. They need to learn not to fear experimentation and failure. They need to open their minds to the possibilities of this new magic, and revel in it!
As they say: what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Concerning comments
Just a quick note - if you leave comments in any script other than the latin script I'm likely to delete them on sight. If you leave a comment with spam links embedded in it, I will not only delete it on sight, I shall also take time out of my busy schedule to build a curse specially directed at you. In case you're wondering, I'm very good at building curses capable of tracking their targets through the aethers and internets.
You really don't want to waste my time moderating blog comments, 'kay?
Thank you for taking the time to read this note.
You really don't want to waste my time moderating blog comments, 'kay?
Thank you for taking the time to read this note.
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
Poet Laureate of the Blogosphere
Nominations for the 2010 Poet Laureate of the Blogosphere close on 15 April.
Have either of you nominated anyone yet?
Have either of you nominated anyone yet?
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Raw Rik
In a rare outing beyond the confines of his padded blog, Rik has been spotted over at Jane Holland's Raw Light venue, where his poem 'Cliff' (from the Poems to Quote chapbook) has been made post of the day.
Rik's poem is the last in Jane's Short Season* of Other Poets, where she's featured poets of the calibre of Siriol Troup, Barbara Smith, Tony Williams, Nuala Ní Chonchúir, Andrew Philip, Paul Violi, Claire Crowther, Ben Wilkinson, Angela France, Matt Merritt, Rob Mackenzie and Katie Evans-Bush.
Rik is of course chuffed to bits to be included in such company; how the other poets feel about this outcome is probably not for the ears of little kittens.
*yes, I got the name of the thing wrong - now corrected. I apologise. I shall go and nail some portion of my anatomy to a conveniently located church door forthwith, as penance. 'Kay?
Rik's poem is the last in Jane's Short Season* of Other Poets, where she's featured poets of the calibre of Siriol Troup, Barbara Smith, Tony Williams, Nuala Ní Chonchúir, Andrew Philip, Paul Violi, Claire Crowther, Ben Wilkinson, Angela France, Matt Merritt, Rob Mackenzie and Katie Evans-Bush.
Rik is of course chuffed to bits to be included in such company; how the other poets feel about this outcome is probably not for the ears of little kittens.
*yes, I got the name of the thing wrong - now corrected. I apologise. I shall go and nail some portion of my anatomy to a conveniently located church door forthwith, as penance. 'Kay?
Thursday, December 18, 2008
If you love Facebook ...
... then all well and good. But best not be posting your artwork, short stories or poems to the site. Not before reading this little snippet from the website's Terms of Use:
"When you post User Content to the Site, you authorise and direct us to make such copies thereof as we deem necessary in order to facilitate the posting and storage of the User Content on the Site. By posting User Content to any part of the Site, you automatically grant, and you represent and warrant that you have the right to grant, to the Company an irrevocable, perpetual, non-exclusive, transferable, fully paid, worldwide licence (with the right to sublicence) to use, copy, publicly perform, publicly display, reformat, translate, excerpt (in whole or in part) and distribute such User Content for any purpose, commercial, advertising, or otherwise, on or in connection with the Site or the promotion thereof, to prepare derivative works of, or incorporate into other works, such User Content, and to grant and authorise sublicences of the foregoing. You may remove your User Content from the Site at any time. If you choose to remove your User Content, the licence granted above will automatically expire, however you acknowledge that the Company may retain archived copies of your User Content. Facebook does not assert any ownership over your User Content; rather, as between us and you, subject to the rights granted to us in these Terms, you retain full ownership of all of your User Content and any intellectual property rights or other proprietary rights associated with your User Content."
Yes, you retain copyright to your work. But that licence is as good as transferring your copyright of your work to them for 0.0 peanuts. And yes, the licence expires when you remove your content from their website, but while it's up on their site, they can do what they damn well please with it. And I bet they keep the copyright to any derivative works, too!
Compare this to the blogger.com TOS:
"Your Intellectual Property Rights. Google claims no ownership or control over any Content submitted, posted or displayed by you on or through Google services. You or a third-party licensor, as appropriate, retain all patent, trademark and copyright to any Content you submit, post or display on or through Google services and you are responsible for protecting those rights, as appropriate. By submitting, posting or displaying Content on or through Google services which are intended to be available to the members of the public, you grant Google a worldwide, non-exclusive, royalty-free licence to reproduce, publish and distribute such Content on Google services for the purpose of displaying and distributing Google services. Google furthermore reserves the right to refuse to accept, post, display or transmit any Content at its sole discretion."
Again - Google are saying you grant them a licence to use your copyrighted material, but they then put a limit on the ways they can use your material. Distasteful, yes, but much more honest and open (until they unilaterally change their TOS, of course).
Always read the TOS before posting. You know it makes sense!
"When you post User Content to the Site, you authorise and direct us to make such copies thereof as we deem necessary in order to facilitate the posting and storage of the User Content on the Site. By posting User Content to any part of the Site, you automatically grant, and you represent and warrant that you have the right to grant, to the Company an irrevocable, perpetual, non-exclusive, transferable, fully paid, worldwide licence (with the right to sublicence) to use, copy, publicly perform, publicly display, reformat, translate, excerpt (in whole or in part) and distribute such User Content for any purpose, commercial, advertising, or otherwise, on or in connection with the Site or the promotion thereof, to prepare derivative works of, or incorporate into other works, such User Content, and to grant and authorise sublicences of the foregoing. You may remove your User Content from the Site at any time. If you choose to remove your User Content, the licence granted above will automatically expire, however you acknowledge that the Company may retain archived copies of your User Content. Facebook does not assert any ownership over your User Content; rather, as between us and you, subject to the rights granted to us in these Terms, you retain full ownership of all of your User Content and any intellectual property rights or other proprietary rights associated with your User Content."
Yes, you retain copyright to your work. But that licence is as good as transferring your copyright of your work to them for 0.0 peanuts. And yes, the licence expires when you remove your content from their website, but while it's up on their site, they can do what they damn well please with it. And I bet they keep the copyright to any derivative works, too!
Compare this to the blogger.com TOS:
"Your Intellectual Property Rights. Google claims no ownership or control over any Content submitted, posted or displayed by you on or through Google services. You or a third-party licensor, as appropriate, retain all patent, trademark and copyright to any Content you submit, post or display on or through Google services and you are responsible for protecting those rights, as appropriate. By submitting, posting or displaying Content on or through Google services which are intended to be available to the members of the public, you grant Google a worldwide, non-exclusive, royalty-free licence to reproduce, publish and distribute such Content on Google services for the purpose of displaying and distributing Google services. Google furthermore reserves the right to refuse to accept, post, display or transmit any Content at its sole discretion."
Again - Google are saying you grant them a licence to use your copyrighted material, but they then put a limit on the ways they can use your material. Distasteful, yes, but much more honest and open (until they unilaterally change their TOS, of course).
Always read the TOS before posting. You know it makes sense!
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Scary jobs
I can't believe I forgot to add a link on the blog to my latest fabulous pdf collection of poems Poems to Quote to your Lover (before and after you fuck) - now corrected, if you look over to the right.
Anyways, on with this post. I haven't written any new poems or short stories; I haven't produced any more oilified photos of my baby kittens; and I haven't had any mad ideas lately. So I suppose I'll have to make up one of those blog game thingies.
Here's the question: Tell us all about three jobs you ran away from.
And to start the ball rolling, here's my answers:
1. I was in the army for 7 weeks. I actually enjoyed being in the army, but unfortunately my repressed sexuality couldn't cope with the all-male environment. If only I'd learned to relax more ...
2. How many people in England remember John Major's Cones Hotline? For those not lucky enough to remember our former Prime Minister's second greatest idea (the greatest idea being the Citizen's Charter, of course), the Cones Hotline was a telephone number which angry drivers could phone up to report gangs of rogue traffic cones roaming across our great nation's motorways (I kid you not!) The job of setting up the Cones Hotline fell to the Highways Agency, or more specifically my line management at the Highways Agency. When I heard of this brave new initiative I knew immediately on whose desk the hotline phone was going to fall. Dear reader, I ran away from the Highways Agency as quick as my stubby legs could carry me!
3. I actually ran to the Department of the Environment (as it was known at the time), landing comfortably in the Waste Directorate, where I was employed in the team responsible for producing the Waste Strategy for England (eventually published in 2000). That job was fun, but all things come to an end. As the date for publishing the strategy grew close, decisions were taken in the Directorate about what we'd be doing after publication. I drew the charred straw, and for three whole, glorious weeks I was the lead policy advisor on waste incinerators and incineration policy. The doors of that building flapped so hard at my departure that they came off their hinges!
So there you go: three jobs I ran away from. Now I want to hear from Scavella, Rob and Julie - tell everyone which jobs you ran away from. Your prize for revealing all on your blogs will be to nominate three other lucky people to play this fun game.
Anyways, on with this post. I haven't written any new poems or short stories; I haven't produced any more oilified photos of my baby kittens; and I haven't had any mad ideas lately. So I suppose I'll have to make up one of those blog game thingies.
Here's the question: Tell us all about three jobs you ran away from.
And to start the ball rolling, here's my answers:
1. I was in the army for 7 weeks. I actually enjoyed being in the army, but unfortunately my repressed sexuality couldn't cope with the all-male environment. If only I'd learned to relax more ...
2. How many people in England remember John Major's Cones Hotline? For those not lucky enough to remember our former Prime Minister's second greatest idea (the greatest idea being the Citizen's Charter, of course), the Cones Hotline was a telephone number which angry drivers could phone up to report gangs of rogue traffic cones roaming across our great nation's motorways (I kid you not!) The job of setting up the Cones Hotline fell to the Highways Agency, or more specifically my line management at the Highways Agency. When I heard of this brave new initiative I knew immediately on whose desk the hotline phone was going to fall. Dear reader, I ran away from the Highways Agency as quick as my stubby legs could carry me!
3. I actually ran to the Department of the Environment (as it was known at the time), landing comfortably in the Waste Directorate, where I was employed in the team responsible for producing the Waste Strategy for England (eventually published in 2000). That job was fun, but all things come to an end. As the date for publishing the strategy grew close, decisions were taken in the Directorate about what we'd be doing after publication. I drew the charred straw, and for three whole, glorious weeks I was the lead policy advisor on waste incinerators and incineration policy. The doors of that building flapped so hard at my departure that they came off their hinges!
So there you go: three jobs I ran away from. Now I want to hear from Scavella, Rob and Julie - tell everyone which jobs you ran away from. Your prize for revealing all on your blogs will be to nominate three other lucky people to play this fun game.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Saturday, April 14, 2007
26 hour writing contest
Evil Editor has just posted the results of his 26 hour writing contest. My effort is lodged in at #4. I've no idea if this means mine was 4th best, or one of the best 10 entries EE received, or if the contest only received 10 entries in total. Even so, there's some very funny entries posted - though you have to be in on the joke to, um, get the jokes.
Miss Snark doesn't read Minion blogs, does she? Please say she doesn't ...
Miss Snark doesn't read Minion blogs, does she? Please say she doesn't ...
Friday, April 13, 2007
You want some 'Q' to go with that big old 'I' of yours?
'kay. I've just taken this online IQ test which tells me that I have an IQ of 136 - making me (heh) "gifted", but not a "genius".
It annoys me beyond belief that the website also tells me that my IQ is lower than Madonna's ...
The main point of this blogpost is to warn people that I have pussycat photos I'm planning to post over the next few days - relief from the vicious amount of raw poetry currently floating round blogland.
It annoys me beyond belief that the website also tells me that my IQ is lower than Madonna's ...
The main point of this blogpost is to warn people that I have pussycat photos I'm planning to post over the next few days - relief from the vicious amount of raw poetry currently floating round blogland.
Friday, November 24, 2006
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Apologies
Many apologies to those of you who subscribe to this blog via RSS feeds. I converted over to beta.blogger yesterday and in my excitement decided to give all my archived posts some labels. The sensible thing for me to have done would have been to turn off the RSS feeds feature thingy before I started, but in typical Rik fashion I only realised what was going on halfway through the process. Oops.
Now all I've got to do is figure out how to get the labels to list down the sidebar without losing other essential text like my RikVerse image and links.
Now all I've got to do is figure out how to get the labels to list down the sidebar without losing other essential text like my RikVerse image and links.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Crapometer
Well, I missed out in Miss Snark's Crapometer Lottery (my entry was #276), but I'm sure there will be lots of fun watching the "successful" entries get eviscerated over the next couple of days. It also gives me more hope for today's lottery, as I've only got a small store of luck to go around.
Purely for fun, here's what I sent in. 750 words on the nose!
Dear Miss Snark.
Thank you for your wise and witty blog, and may K-Y's chew-bones be forever filled with marrow.
Delaem, daughter of the Governor of Burramesh, is going to court. She has a contract for a marriage to a handsome courtier and a will to explore the world beyond the walls of her provincial city.
But when her mother arranges one last gift for her daughter, Delaem's certainties begin to fray. Her lessons in the "easing" of men are learned too well. When all her attention should be focussed on her betrothed, Delaem can only dream of Shapeis, the head-horned servant employed to teach her.
Shapeis has problems of his own. The servants in the city are finding themselves a new religion - her name is the Sosunda, the child who speaks to God, and God has a message for his chosen people: freedom. Between his lessons with the Governor's daughter, Shapeis learns about the history of his people, the genetic wrongness of his creation - and the increasing desire he has for his aristocratic pupil.
Beyond their knowledge, the world is changing. Life has never been easy on this planet: a new plague has evolved in the southern ports, and the Empire will destroy cities to halt its progress. Fearful that illegal servant movements are threatening his city, the Governor orders their termination.
Escaping the city, Shapeis discovers an alien world where survival depends on knowledge and cooperation. For Delaem, too, survival has become more than deciding which dress to wear for breakfast. Both have to grasp new strengths and skills.
Yet no skill can stand firm before the plague. It stalks the city's unwashed streets, killing all in its path. Despite the Governor's every effort to contain the disease, the news of its presence within the city walls travels fast beyond them.
The Empire must act - the disease must die, as must the city and all within it. If the surviving servants are to fulfil their dreams, they must reach the safety of the mountains before the the soldiers arrive.
One man will not listen to prophecy. One woman will not accept defeat. Only when these two people learn to work together and respect each other will any life - master or servant - be rescued from the fires and fevers of death.
"The Sosunda" (working title), my first full novel, is a 90,000 word work-in-progress for which I hope to find representation in due course. My previous writing experience has ranged from drafting government propaganda to writing and publishing my own poetry. I hope you find my first serious foray into writing interesting enough to ask for a further 750 words.
As stipulated in your post, the opening paragraphs of the first chapter follow.
And many thanks for taking the time to read my submission.
Faithfully
Rik Roots
--------
The Sosunda: Chapter One
"Is it true he is handsome, this contract of yours?"
Arbelle was combing her sister's hair: long, slow, steady strokes bringing the night tangles to the surface where she could tease them free. Her sister already wore her morning dress and was putting together her face before breakfast. It was a good morning ritual, the brushing of the hair; a time for sibling gossip before facing the rest of the family, and the world that insisted on invading their home.
"I have a picture of him in my safe-room," said Delaem. She put her hand on the brush to stop her sister's work, turned round and smiled. "He appears reasonably handsome."
They both giggled, no care for decorum. "Pictures can be doctored, you know," said Arbelle. "Mother whispered to me one night that Father's picture was at least ten years out of date when she came to compare it to the flesh!"
"No!" Delaem was grinning still. "Mother never told you that! She never discusses such things - I would know. I am the eldest, I've watched her four years more than you!"
"Three years."
"Four, until your birthday next month. Now tell me the truth, or I shall set the brother on you!"
Arbelle grimaced. The thought of having to deal with a sticky child did not appeal to her this morning, and Delaem had the right to pass on his care to her if she had more important things to attend to. Important to Delaem, that was.
Instead of answering, she leaned over her sister's shoulder, reaching towards the pots of powders and greasepaints forming a semicircle around her elbows ...
Question: if you were a literary agent, would this sucker you in to asking for a partial, or even the full manuscript?
Purely for fun, here's what I sent in. 750 words on the nose!
Dear Miss Snark.
Thank you for your wise and witty blog, and may K-Y's chew-bones be forever filled with marrow.
Delaem, daughter of the Governor of Burramesh, is going to court. She has a contract for a marriage to a handsome courtier and a will to explore the world beyond the walls of her provincial city.
But when her mother arranges one last gift for her daughter, Delaem's certainties begin to fray. Her lessons in the "easing" of men are learned too well. When all her attention should be focussed on her betrothed, Delaem can only dream of Shapeis, the head-horned servant employed to teach her.
Shapeis has problems of his own. The servants in the city are finding themselves a new religion - her name is the Sosunda, the child who speaks to God, and God has a message for his chosen people: freedom. Between his lessons with the Governor's daughter, Shapeis learns about the history of his people, the genetic wrongness of his creation - and the increasing desire he has for his aristocratic pupil.
Beyond their knowledge, the world is changing. Life has never been easy on this planet: a new plague has evolved in the southern ports, and the Empire will destroy cities to halt its progress. Fearful that illegal servant movements are threatening his city, the Governor orders their termination.
Escaping the city, Shapeis discovers an alien world where survival depends on knowledge and cooperation. For Delaem, too, survival has become more than deciding which dress to wear for breakfast. Both have to grasp new strengths and skills.
Yet no skill can stand firm before the plague. It stalks the city's unwashed streets, killing all in its path. Despite the Governor's every effort to contain the disease, the news of its presence within the city walls travels fast beyond them.
The Empire must act - the disease must die, as must the city and all within it. If the surviving servants are to fulfil their dreams, they must reach the safety of the mountains before the the soldiers arrive.
One man will not listen to prophecy. One woman will not accept defeat. Only when these two people learn to work together and respect each other will any life - master or servant - be rescued from the fires and fevers of death.
"The Sosunda" (working title), my first full novel, is a 90,000 word work-in-progress for which I hope to find representation in due course. My previous writing experience has ranged from drafting government propaganda to writing and publishing my own poetry. I hope you find my first serious foray into writing interesting enough to ask for a further 750 words.
As stipulated in your post, the opening paragraphs of the first chapter follow.
And many thanks for taking the time to read my submission.
Faithfully
Rik Roots
--------
The Sosunda: Chapter One
"Is it true he is handsome, this contract of yours?"
Arbelle was combing her sister's hair: long, slow, steady strokes bringing the night tangles to the surface where she could tease them free. Her sister already wore her morning dress and was putting together her face before breakfast. It was a good morning ritual, the brushing of the hair; a time for sibling gossip before facing the rest of the family, and the world that insisted on invading their home.
"I have a picture of him in my safe-room," said Delaem. She put her hand on the brush to stop her sister's work, turned round and smiled. "He appears reasonably handsome."
They both giggled, no care for decorum. "Pictures can be doctored, you know," said Arbelle. "Mother whispered to me one night that Father's picture was at least ten years out of date when she came to compare it to the flesh!"
"No!" Delaem was grinning still. "Mother never told you that! She never discusses such things - I would know. I am the eldest, I've watched her four years more than you!"
"Three years."
"Four, until your birthday next month. Now tell me the truth, or I shall set the brother on you!"
Arbelle grimaced. The thought of having to deal with a sticky child did not appeal to her this morning, and Delaem had the right to pass on his care to her if she had more important things to attend to. Important to Delaem, that was.
Instead of answering, she leaned over her sister's shoulder, reaching towards the pots of powders and greasepaints forming a semicircle around her elbows ...
Question: if you were a literary agent, would this sucker you in to asking for a partial, or even the full manuscript?
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Shameless self-promotion
I finally succumbed to temptation and started advertising The RikVerse on this blog. "Why hide it?" I thought. It's not as if I'm ashamed of it or something. I've also added in direct links to the 2 pdf chapbooks which make up a substantial portion of the publication - just for the cheapskates.
Which got me thinking about future projects. Given my recent arterial flow of productivity I wondered if there was a possibility of a new pdf production. Well, there is and there isn't. After reviewing what's on the stocks, it seems like I'm actually working on 6 (six) separate poetry projects, two of which are around 70% done, a third that's pretty much half-way there, the dratted long poem due to finish sometime before 2010 and a couple of others that are just out of the starting blocks.
The two that are sprinting away are currently listed in my head under the name of "Lovers" and "Others". Alongside two of the less developed projects (inventively titled "Politic" and "Olympic") they could eventually end up as part of a new lulu.com book. I'll have to come up with better names for the project and the book, of course, but it never hurts to dream a little, does it.
Does it?
Which got me thinking about future projects. Given my recent arterial flow of productivity I wondered if there was a possibility of a new pdf production. Well, there is and there isn't. After reviewing what's on the stocks, it seems like I'm actually working on 6 (six) separate poetry projects, two of which are around 70% done, a third that's pretty much half-way there, the dratted long poem due to finish sometime before 2010 and a couple of others that are just out of the starting blocks.
The two that are sprinting away are currently listed in my head under the name of "Lovers" and "Others". Alongside two of the less developed projects (inventively titled "Politic" and "Olympic") they could eventually end up as part of a new lulu.com book. I'll have to come up with better names for the project and the book, of course, but it never hurts to dream a little, does it.
Does it?
Saturday, August 05, 2006
Mmmm - parasites!
Harry's quite the linkophile - I'll often pop over to his blog to see what he's ferreted out. Today I struck gold when Harry linked to Carl Zimmer's blog - Carl wrote one of the best books I've ever read about parasites, and his views on the biology of parasitism is proving to be very influential on my conbiology activities. Definitely a link for the sidebar.
Thanks, Harry!
Thanks, Harry!
Monday, July 03, 2006
South Park Rik
Thanks to those nice people at South Park Studio ...

... and to Julie, of course, who's always guilty of diverting me away from serious work, like formalising how ditransitive verbs operate in Gevey.
Talking of Julie, verselovers are strongly advised to scoot over to her Lulu-shop to invest in her new book of poems. Sonneteers of her high calibre are as rare as a very rare thing indeed!
... and to Julie, of course, who's always guilty of diverting me away from serious work, like formalising how ditransitive verbs operate in Gevey.
Talking of Julie, verselovers are strongly advised to scoot over to her Lulu-shop to invest in her new book of poems. Sonneteers of her high calibre are as rare as a very rare thing indeed!
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Stats
This blogsite attracts (on average) 7 visitors a day.
I don't know whether I ought to be depressed because I want to be blogfamous, or elated because I continue to dodge celebrityhood by flying beneath the blogradar - Samizdat Rik!
I suppose if I want fame'n'fortune I could always post some buttshots of me - with and without the tight shorts. Or alternatively I could post more poems and conlang stuff and aimless rambles - the googlebot likes regularly updated pages and is always happy to add a couple dozen hits to the counter at no extra charge.
Sunday evenings: depression weekly.
I don't know whether I ought to be depressed because I want to be blogfamous, or elated because I continue to dodge celebrityhood by flying beneath the blogradar - Samizdat Rik!
I suppose if I want fame'n'fortune I could always post some buttshots of me - with and without the tight shorts. Or alternatively I could post more poems and conlang stuff and aimless rambles - the googlebot likes regularly updated pages and is always happy to add a couple dozen hits to the counter at no extra charge.
Sunday evenings: depression weekly.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Pretty flames and fireworks in Blogland
So, there's this man called Craig Teicher who writes an article on poetry and the internet for some outfit called PublishersWeekly.com which manages to reference Ron Silliman and Josh Corey and some online poetry magazines and in the process upsets people like Reb Livingston and many others which all then develops into a slapfest about site meters and who's got the biggest hitcounter.
Oh-kay.
Anyways, getting back to the article, my complaint with it seem to be chiming closely with Tony Tost's reservations - namely that the article misses the point by trying to view online poetry as some sort of complement or imitation of "real-world" poetry: the publishers, the critics, the magazines, the MFAs, etc, etc, etc.
For instance:
"The Web is allowing poets and publishers of poetry—both the big houses and the many independent, nonprofit and university presses—direct access to their readers."
So much for poets doing it for themselves. In this statement the author assumes that the internet is a tool of the real world poetry business.
No, Craig, it is not. The internet is a release from the old po-biz paradigms. And if you don't agree, then I suggest that you haven't been looking hard enough at what's really going on beyond the self-erected walls of the blogosphere.
"These magazines are publishing a wide range of poets, from Pulitzer Prize winners to up-and-coming poets still in M.F.A. programs."
Oh, fabulous! In this statement the author assumes the only people qualified to write poetry are those with MFA qualifications.
Oops. Looks like you've fucked up there, Roots!
I suppose it is nice to have people writing about internet poetry for a wider audience. But to be honest I don't think the cause - if there is one, and personally I prefer to think of internet poetry as a force of nature which the world needs to deal with rather than as a new frontier waiting to be conquered - I don't think the "cause" is served by such a narrowly focussed article parading itself as an introduction to the internet poetry phenomenon.
I actually fantasised about what a book on the history of internet publishing could look like - the range of issues and stories to cover, etc - last September on this here very blog. Poetry blogs didn't get a mention until the penultimate chapter.
Strange, that.
Oh-kay.
Anyways, getting back to the article, my complaint with it seem to be chiming closely with Tony Tost's reservations - namely that the article misses the point by trying to view online poetry as some sort of complement or imitation of "real-world" poetry: the publishers, the critics, the magazines, the MFAs, etc, etc, etc.
For instance:
"The Web is allowing poets and publishers of poetry—both the big houses and the many independent, nonprofit and university presses—direct access to their readers."
So much for poets doing it for themselves. In this statement the author assumes that the internet is a tool of the real world poetry business.
No, Craig, it is not. The internet is a release from the old po-biz paradigms. And if you don't agree, then I suggest that you haven't been looking hard enough at what's really going on beyond the self-erected walls of the blogosphere.
"These magazines are publishing a wide range of poets, from Pulitzer Prize winners to up-and-coming poets still in M.F.A. programs."
Oh, fabulous! In this statement the author assumes the only people qualified to write poetry are those with MFA qualifications.
Oops. Looks like you've fucked up there, Roots!
I suppose it is nice to have people writing about internet poetry for a wider audience. But to be honest I don't think the cause - if there is one, and personally I prefer to think of internet poetry as a force of nature which the world needs to deal with rather than as a new frontier waiting to be conquered - I don't think the "cause" is served by such a narrowly focussed article parading itself as an introduction to the internet poetry phenomenon.
I actually fantasised about what a book on the history of internet publishing could look like - the range of issues and stories to cover, etc - last September on this here very blog. Poetry blogs didn't get a mention until the penultimate chapter.
Strange, that.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Love Poems: the sequence
Okay, I wasn't planning to do this. My original intention was to teach myself how to write a love poem because I haven't written, well, any proper love poems before. So I dashed off a dozen candidates over the course of a couple of weeks. And then I started workshopping them.
The results of the poems that I have workshopped to conclusion (#s 1, 2, 3, 4 and - just about - 6) are very pleasing to me. My redraft of #5 has distinct possibilities. Of the remaining six drafts I have reasonable hopes that #s 8, 9 and 11 can be knocked into shape with a bit of work, #10 needs some serious root'n'branch work and #s 7 and 12 need to be completely reconsidered.
If I can get this work done before NaPoWriMo kicks off in April then this'll be one of the most productive periods in my entire poetic career ever.
Now then. During the workshopping process a number of people have asked me if these drafts are intended to be a series of poems. I've always said: no! But this morning I had a fresh look at the idea and I think it could - just about - work.
The result is currently just over 5 pages long. If anyone wants to offer feedback on the ordering or anything then that would be great. I'd also welcome views on whether or not the sequencing idea is worth the effort, and if not then which poems (if any) I should concentrate on polishing.
(Not that I'm thinking of publishing any of them. Though I was tempted by the idea of submitting some of them to Reb Livingston's rather fabulous No Tell Motel just for the devilment of it all.)
Now don't be shy ...
The results of the poems that I have workshopped to conclusion (#s 1, 2, 3, 4 and - just about - 6) are very pleasing to me. My redraft of #5 has distinct possibilities. Of the remaining six drafts I have reasonable hopes that #s 8, 9 and 11 can be knocked into shape with a bit of work, #10 needs some serious root'n'branch work and #s 7 and 12 need to be completely reconsidered.
If I can get this work done before NaPoWriMo kicks off in April then this'll be one of the most productive periods in my entire poetic career ever.
Now then. During the workshopping process a number of people have asked me if these drafts are intended to be a series of poems. I've always said: no! But this morning I had a fresh look at the idea and I think it could - just about - work.
The result is currently just over 5 pages long. If anyone wants to offer feedback on the ordering or anything then that would be great. I'd also welcome views on whether or not the sequencing idea is worth the effort, and if not then which poems (if any) I should concentrate on polishing.
(Not that I'm thinking of publishing any of them. Though I was tempted by the idea of submitting some of them to Reb Livingston's rather fabulous No Tell Motel just for the devilment of it all.)
Now don't be shy ...
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
BriNaPoCo Woe
People should pop along to Rob's blog and commiserate with him about the vagaries of judgement that prevented him from winning the latest National Poetry Competition. I for one can't see any particular reason why the three placed poems were deemed to outrank Rob's commended entry.
Maybe that's why I'm a scruffy sideline critic rather than a respectable judge of artistry.
Maybe that's why I'm a scruffy sideline critic rather than a respectable judge of artistry.
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